For centuries, philosophers have relentlessly philosophized
through the lens of philosophy as to the reality or folklore of a term that has
continually baffled the wisest of philosophizing experts, “The Christmas Spirit.” What
is it? What the freak sauce does it mean
to have Christmas cheer? How is it
achieved? And most ultimately, is it
real? Even Jack the Pumpkin King from
the movie, Nightmare Before Christmas,
pursued the quest for Christmas Spirit comprehension. But he failed.
My observing eye has identified several key aspects of said “Christmas
Spirit.” Such claimed aspects include personal
peace and joy, and enhanced outward expressions of charity, love, service, kindness,
understanding, and patience. These
feelings are said to be a natural consequence to the very nature of the holiday’s
focus, which is centralized around family and awareness to God’s existence, His
love, and His mercy.
But there must be a way to observe empirical evidence of the
Christmas Spirit; proof that it is indeed real.
But how?! Then it happened. As if I had been struck in the head by Thor’s
mighty hammer of awesome ideas, the idea came. I must conduct an experiment! The
experiment idea was also clear. I needed to do something mean to my wife
while she was supposedly consumed by this “Christmas Spirit.” Something that, on a normal day in May, I know
she would not stand for. Something that,
if I actually did it, she would bust a cap, and unleash a hellish tornado of
southern furry (she is from the south, FYI, and she be packin’…so risk of
personal injury on my part would be extremely high if I was to carry out such
an experiment).
The perfect opportunity presented itself on November 28,
2012. The Thanksgiving holiday was now
over and Christmas lights and decorations nationwide were beginning to pop up
everywhere like daisies. Christmas music
now dominated the radio and my house. My lovely wife pranced around the house
covering our family room with colorful lights, ornaments, candy canes,
stockings, the manger scene, etc. By
nature, my wife is always a very sweet and fun woman; but during Christmas she
lights up like a bulb. Maybe I do to and
just don’t realize it.
Anyway, after her decorating blizzard was over, she threw on
her all time favorite movie, and laid on the couch to enjoy the end of her
perfect evening. I was in the other
bedroom when my brain gave birth to the heartless yet necessary experiment idea
(side note: I would never do nor ever encourage anyone to do something truly
heartless in the name of humor or any other name. As a
guide, if it is something you both cannot laugh about afterwards, then do NOT
do it!).
I decided to record
myself walking into the family room, and turning off her movie. Then I would say I was going to play video
games. In my mind, her reaction would be
the empirical evidence I needed to know if her alleged Christmas Spirit was
real. How would I know this exactly? Well, it’s quite simple. On a day in May, if I was to do this same
thing, she would undoubtedly grab her nearby lap top and throw it at my head
while simultaneously belching profane words.
Then, while down on the ground, she would probably waste no time in
jumping on me and putting me in some sort of strangle hold while making me
promise to do a year’s worth of dishes as punishment for my unacceptable
behavior. Then she would snap my arm and
give me a wet wily. Ok, maybe I’m being
a little dramatic. But regardless, it
would not be pretty. Trust me. However, if the Christmas Spirit is real,
then her reaction to me blatantly turning off her movie without initial explanation
would not be as extreme as the above scenario.
Watch the movie clip bellow to find out what happened, and to
once and for all learn the truth behind the infamous “Christmas Spirit!”
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