I was 12 years old when it happened. Just a young buck white kid searching to find himself. Like everyone else in my age group, I was mindlessly floating down the current of social peer pressure and stereotypes; being sculpted, molded, and shaped into the creation I was expected to become. But then the unexpected happened…the unanticipated…the unforeseen. I took a daring plunge outside of the mainstream current and into the open ocean of independence. The feeling of liberation was invigorating and instant.
What exactly did I do, you ask? With pen in hand, I sat at my desk and wrote…my first rap song! Oh yes. “Lil GreatDane,” white as cotton, and punk rock skater to the core began to bust out rhyme after rhyme, and “yo yo” after “yo yo.” An inner passion for music and writing was starting to unveil its face in an unconventional way; the way of the “wangster.”
My pronunciation of vowels gradually evolved, and my sentences began to walk with a limp. Allow me the pleasure of illustration:
A normal sentence for a white boy of an American middle class home would go something like this, “Listen babe, just be honest with me.” You know, in a conflict resolution type situation. My 12 year old, ghetto remix to this same sentence would be, “Naw naw gerrrrl, don B trippin’! Shoot boo. No frontin’ up in my grill!”
Yeeeeeaaahhhhh. Umm. Admittedly, there is absolutely nothing over dramatized about the above example. I was now fearlessly venturing out into uncharted and mysterious social waters, while my friends continued in the security of the mainstream. On this fateful day, I performed the controversial procedure of social brain surgery. I opened up my cranium, extracted the developing fetus of a hand fed, social identity, and replaced it with a new one; one selected by my own hand. In that moment, I became a wigger.
Writing hip hop songs was fun, but I knew my chosen destiny was not over. That year for Christmas I asked for a musical keyboard. Bam! With some luck, I got one! I then commandeered by sister’s karaoke machine when she was unaware, and proceeded to make musical history. I secluded myself to the back bedroom of the house. Then, with microphone in hand, I pushed the red record button on the karaoke tape player, and let the wiggefied inspiration flow free. My lyrically ground breaking raps were accompanied by beats I made myself with the keyboard. I was living the dream of a hip hop star.
Through my growing up years, life has demanded change to a higher level of maturity and professionalism; necessarily and gratefully so. However, to this very day, after years of schooling and education, the reception of prestigious awards and honors, the wigger inside still pokes his head out from time to time just to say, “Yo wuts crackin’ homie?!” Uh…I mean…to say, “HELLO!” Or “Good afternoon fellow citizen.” Whew…don’t want to blow my cover!
If YOU have a Lil Wigger dwelling inside, no matter how big or small it may be, throw your hands up in the errrr (air) and leave a comment! Or, if you have ever broken a social norm in any way, pat yourself on the back in celebration of creativity, innovation, individuality, and straight up courage! Sure, we probably risk looking like fools; but we end up having the most fun in life! Plus, you never know what doors of opportunity will open because you took a chance. I personally never got rich or famous because of my musical hobby, but guess what? Fame and fortune are NOT the reasons you should follow a passion, hobby, or a dream. Your love for it, and the joy you feel from it should be the reasons you pursue it. I had a blast improving the skill to write, compose, and record music, and continue to love expressing myself through songs.
Interestingly enough, rapping my little heart out as a kid became a means to an end. I later abandoned the rap thing, and discovered somewhat of an actual talent and an even greater passion for singing. Among other cool things, my singing passion aloud me the privilege to perform live on stage with Dan Reynolds, lead singer of Imagine Dragons. That was cool. But, I honestly think it is just as cool and even more fun when I sing all by myself in a bedroom compared to singing with a celebrity.
Whatever worthwhile passion or dream you have, don't let it die because of fear from the outside world; fear that you might not be as good as someone else; or fear of negative judgment and ridicule. Slap those feelings in the face, and dominate your life!
Play the movie below to listen to a younger version of myself shamelessly rapping on a karaoke machine. Yup! You read right! I still have the tapes! The short sample clips include previously written and in-the-moment free style raps about yellow Lamborghinis, bling bling, girls, and even a rap about Star Wars light sabers. It is freaking hilarious. I fully believed I was the coolest cat around for recording these songs. So please take time to listen, and take even longer time to make fun of me! Check it out:
So what do you think? Pretty funny stuff
jumping into the young "wigger" mind of a 13 year old, huh?
Now that you have had a few strong laughs and some
awkward feelings of embarrassment, be honest...you are about to go get yourself
a tape recorder and a keyboard; right? No shame.
This last video contains sample clips of music from an older version of
myself, and illustrates the fact that when you work hard and put yourself out
there, you can accomplish cool things:
Hahaha......I can't get enough of this. I laughed, I cried, you made your ancestors proud!
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